How to Be a Caregiver

There are a lot of guides for the many caregivers out there. Unfortunately, in every family there’s at least one person who’s going to spend a lot of time caring for a parent or spouse who can’t fully care for himself or herself. Here’s a unique take on the subject. The link is to a review of a book that offers guidance to caregivers but do so with humor. The book also focuses on how the caregiver should take care of self first, so that he or she is able to care for the loved one. The approach is different, and it might give at few laughs and a fresh perspective to the caregivers out there.

Ms. Heller tackles tough subjects in chapters like “Sex? Romance? Is Anybody Getting Any?” and “When Loved Ones Start Taking on a Different Personality and You Start Wishing They’d Disappear.” At one point when her husband is pumped full of steroids, bloated and manic, she fantasizes about killing him but realizes it is his Crohn’s disease she wants to die.

She figures out when to sweet talk nurses and when to pull a Shirley MacLaine in “Terms of Endearment,” and loudly demand care her husband should be receiving. She offers tips on exercise, diet and meditation to stay in shape and reduce stress for the long road ahead. For caregivers who roll up their sleeves and deal with it, there are unexpected moments of happiness, the discovery of inner strength to deal with any adversity, and an even closer bond with their loved ones, Ms. Heller finds.